How to pick a truly satisfying career

Remember grade school and those inspirational posters everywhere? I really took those to heart. “Achieve your dreams!” And, perhaps most importantly, the kitten clinging to a rope which read “Hang in there!”

When I found myself feeling lost on my career path, it was crushing.

I thought that obedience was the answer to everything. As a kid, I paid attention to what adults around me did. They went to college and got a job. I thought that not going to college would hinder my ability to achieve my dreams. Now I see how many opportunities were before me, both then and later, but my vision of the possibilities was consistently narrowed by fear.

I wasn’t acknowledging the dreams inside myself. I was looking for answers from the outside.

I wanted to feel safe and secure, and receiving external validation was the only thing that had ever made me feel that way.

That is a great starting place as a kid. As a grown-up, however, chasing external validation is going to get confusing real fast.

So how do you move in the direction of choosing a career that is right for you?

To me a great career is both practical and enjoyable.

Recall what was some the first career advice you ever received?

What sort of messages did you see or hear? Who was it from? What did you believe or not believe, and why?

Examine your list. What advice was explicit and what was implicit?

Make 2 columns. In the first column, write out the practical elements. What sort of objective measures did this advice call for? In the second column, write what were some of the underlying message about you or the world that you received?

Check in with your body as you do this. Is there a sensation or “charge” to anything on your list? Notice the things on the list that make you feel settled, grounded. Notice the things that make you feel tense, uneasy. Tip: Take at least 1 minute longer to do this than you might think, as the body might have more to say than your mind thinks it will!

Edit the career advice. Take out parts that you don’t resonate with - they might belong to someone else! What would you share with your younger self now?

I like to finish this practice off by distilling the information down to a few positive words that feel most true in this moment. Even if they dont feel true to all parts of you just yet, thats okay. Here are some examples:

“I am safe and secure.”

“I am ready to do work I enjoy.”

...and my personal favorite:

”You have a place on this earth.”

Yes, you.

The truth is, it is rare to strike this balance of practicality and enjoyment the first time you start working.

Don't be afraid to go back to the drawing board. Life is short, but it is also long! This isn’t 1975 where you basically work one job for 35 years. The majority of millennials do at least 2 careers within that span, and many do 3 or more. There can be overlap or gaps between. Try to not be too hard on yourself if you are feeling lost - hang in there!

A bit about me...

I wanted to be a Physical Therapist for a dance company when I was in high school (dance was too physically demanding as my chronic pain had already started). Then, after starting my Exercise Science degree and observing PT’s doing their work, I realized I would not enjoy counting all those reps. I wanted to help people on a spiritual and emotional level, not just physical.

After I decided do a Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master’s in Dance/Movement Therapy, I found myself totally overwhelmed and lost once again. I struggled to reconcile the things I enjoyed and the practical needs I had. I burned out on 2 years of crisis counseling and had barely enough money to pay rent.

It was hell. What happened to the promises I made to myself from the posters on the wall in grade school? My self-esteem plummeted.

I took a corporate office job to settle the practical needs. I ignored the enjoyment factor for an entire year.

It was also hell. Sacrificing enjoyment for practicality is a necessity at times, but humans deserve more from this life than just survival.

Even if you feel like you are hanging by a thread, like that kitten hanging by a toe, you really can find a satisfying career.

Patience, practice, and people make it possible.

With care and blessings,

Stacy