6 ways to self-care without being selfish

#selfcare is evolving.

Each generation has a different take on this. Gen Y and Boomers didn't get the same messaging early on that Millenials and Gen Z are getting.

Have you ever felt like your self-care comes at the expense of someone else?

I have. Self-sacrifice was basically how my family showed love. It gave me the #implicit message that if I put myself and my needs at the fore, someone would get hurt.

Without self-care, life can get really confusing. Many roots of our pain and suffering are not within our conscious awareness. We feel the end-result of the discomfort, stress, or misery. Those feelings are so LOUD that we can't tune into what our underlying need is, let alone engage creative problem-solving.

Here are some practices I have found helpful in breaking down barriers to my own self-care.

1. Stop equating self-sacrifice with love. Try using other #lovelanguages such as words of affirmation or acts of service to show others that you care for them.

2. Start small. Even taking 5 seconds to take a breath before sending that sassy text, or stopping to drink water before diving back into work, can start reprogramming your brain to #optimize self-care.

3. Stop judging the self-care of others. Everyone is doing the best they can, even if your ego judges their behavior. Try to see the self-care behaviors in everyone and celebrate them (even if you would do things differently) and you will start to get more comfortable with your own acts of self-care.

4. Schedule a self-date every week. Put it on your calendar so it reminds you, and create a specific plan, just like you would with a friend or colleague. Take a walk around the park while drinking a smoothie and tuning into your favorite podcast.

5. Reframe self care. You want to help your loved ones? Functioning at your best is the first step toward that goal. As they say, you can't pour from an empty cup.

6. Visualize a healthy you. Take a moment to picture yourself in your happy place, your body in its optimal health, all dis-ease mended, and your face glowing with radiance. What are you doing? What are you saying and thinking? Take 5-10 mins to sit with this exercise. Do this until you feel the pleasurable effects of the visualization - it takes practice! The more often you tap into the frequency of your healthiest self, the more readily your body and mind will receive self-care instead of reject it.

Even just by reading this article, you are miles ahead on the self-care track. Go you!

Want to dial in your self-care? Get in touch!

Take care,

Stacy